CATCH 22

If given a choice, how would you like your journey on earth to end? To die an instant death (from a gunshot or a fatal accident) or to stare at death squarely and wait endlessly for your name to be called (hospice care)?
Sigh.

BIRTHDAY WISHES FOR THE OVER-40s

It was Betty's birthday on April 11 and this was Millie's text message to her - I have to share this with you because, firstly, it is true (the part about our health) and secondly, Millie and I had a good laugh over it:-

"Hi Betty, so how many tables are you having for your 'tai sau' (birthday bash). I wish you many, many happy years; not just on your life, but your internal spare parts. *@%# man! We are all growing old so fast so we better hope our spare parts can last for another 30years! Nowadays all *@%#ing birthday wishes are no longer for handbags or cash or good food but asking God to take care of our spare parts! That being said, I only think of God on my birthdays, other days, no !*@%#!!!Nam mo oli tau fud! I think Buddha will also tell me this la: *@%# you too, Millie!".

TIME FLIES, FLIED

January 28 2007 was the last time I did some talking
Phew! a year has passed in like just one blink
Much has happened during this period of my disappearing
From blogging; but now some stale news I bring
Let me backtrack to all the happenings
Chinese New Year was celebrated with a zing
Amidst the sweltering weather and kids screaming
Black Jack, Mahjong everyone (including kids) had a fling
Good health and prosperity 2008 will be bringing
Cheers! Till we gather again next Spring
And then there was the much awaited wedding
Kim and Andrew tied the knot; honeymoon will be in Beijing
Before that, Jon was visibly struggling
To cover 3years' syllabus, yep, it was the PMR-exam thing
Naturally he was barred from activities deemed time wasting
7As in hand, yes Jon, no pain no gain
Career-wise Alfred is now doing a fair bit of travelling
Magnets and food are items he's been summoned to bring
This is all the time I have for writing
Time to go tie my apron strings.

A POEM BY VIRGINIA ELLIS

I have a new delightful friend,
I'm almost in awe of her.
When we first met I was impressed,
By her bizarre behavior.

That day I had a date with friends,
We met to have some lunch.
Mae had come along with them,
All in all - a pleasant bunch.

When the menus were presented,
We ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups.
Except for Mae who circumvented,
And said, "Ice cream, please. Two scoops."

I was not sure my ears heard right,
And the others were aghast.
"Along with heated apple pie,"
Mae smiled, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant,
As if people did this all the time.
But when our orders were brought out,
I did not enjoy mine.

I could not take my eyes off Mae,
As her pie ala-mode went down.
The other ladies showed dismay,
They ate their lunches, and they frowned.

Well, the next time I went out to eat,
I called and invited Mae.
My lunch contained white tuna meat,
She ordered a parfait.

I smiled when her dish I viewed,
She asked if she amused me.
I answered, "Yes, you do,
And you also do confuse me."

"How come you order rich desserts
When I feel I must be sensible?"
She laughed and said, with wanton mirth,
"I am tasting all that's possible."

"I try to eat the food I need,
And do the things I should.
But life's so short, my friend, indeed,
I hate missing out on something good."

"This year I realized I was old,"
She grinned, "I've not been this old before.
So, before I die, I've got to try,
Those things for years I have ignored.

"I've not smelled all the flowers yet,
And too many books I have not read.
There're more fudge sundaes to woof down,
And kites to be flown overhead."

"There're many malls I have not shopped,
I've not laughed at all the jokes.
I've missed a lot of Broadway Hits,
And potato chips and cokes."

"I want to wade again in water,
And feel ocean spray upon my face.
Sit in a country church once more,
And thank God for His grace."

"I want peanut butter every day,
Spread on my morning toast,
I want un-timed long distance calls,
To the folks I love the most."

"I've not cried at all the movies yet,
Nor walked in the morning rain.
I need to feel wind in my hair,
I want to fall in love again."

"So, if I choose to have dessert,
Instead of having dinner,
If I should die before nightfall,
You'd have to say I died a winner."

"That I missed out on nothing,
That I had my heart's desire.
That I had that final chocolate mousse,
Before my life expired."

With that, I called the waitress over,
"I've changed my mind, it seems."
I said, "I want what she is having,
Only add some more whipped cream."


Virginia (Ginny) Ellis
Copyright, 2000
http://poetrybyginny.com/MOREWHIPPEDCREAM.htm

Do visit Ginny's lovely Website; you'll be awed by her inspirational poems! I'm sure you'll love her like I do!
http://poetrybyginny.com/index.htm

ANAESTHESIA OPTIONS USED IN ORTHOPAEDIC SURGERY

Orthopedic surgery can be done using a number of different anaesthetic options. However, not all options are available in all patients for all procedures. This is a very general overview of the common types of anaesthesia used for orthopedic surgery. Both your surgeon and your anaesthesiologist may have a specific preference for your procedure, so discuss your options with your doctors.

General Anesthesia is the most commonly used anaesthesia for most major orthopedic procedures. Prior to undergoing your procedure, the anaesthesiologist will give you medication that has you drift off to sleep. While sleeping, the anaesthesiologist will protect your breathing by using either a breathing tube in your trachea (windpipe) or a specialized oral airway in your mouth called a LMA.

General anaesthesia is preferred by many people who prefer to be completely unaware of their surroundings. There has been concern in the media about a phenomenon called 'awake anaesthesia,' where the patient can feel and hear, but is unable to respond under the anaesthesia. This complication is exceedingly rare, and can be prevented by special monitoring that has become routine for anaesthesiologists.

Epidural or Spinal Anaesthesia

Most people are familiar with epidural anaesthesia in the setting of childbirth. This type of anaesthesia is a good option for many lower extremity procedures, such as knee replacements. In the case of epidural anaesthesia, a small catheter can remain in the back to provide pain relief both during the surgery and post-operatively.
Patients who undergo epidural or spinal anaesthesia may also be sedated during the procedure, but it is usually not necessary to place a breathing tube as is done during general anaesthesia.

Regional Nerve Block

Regional nerve blocks are becoming more an more popular in orthopedic surgery. These are done by placing numbing medication directly around the nerves that are affected by the surgery. Again, a small catheter can remain in place to provide post-operative pain control. In some cases, more than one nerve may need to be treated in order to achieve adequate pain relief during the procedure.

Local Anaesthesia might be used for a few types of orthopedic surgery. Generally, local anaesthesia is only used for some types of hand and foot surgery, and some superficial procedures on the extremities. Using local anaesthesia is very safe, but it may not provide adequate pain relief in more invasive procedures.

Sedation, or MAC, Anesthesia

Sedation is medication given through an IV to calm and relax the patients. Pain relieving medication can also be given this way. The patient must be monitored, as this is the same type of medication used in general anaesthesia, just in lighter doses. However, if a patient becomes too anaesthetized, the physician must be prepared to convert to general anaesthesia. Often IV sedation is used in combination with local or regional anaesthesia. The local/regional anaesthesia is used for pain relief, and the sedation is simply to calm the patient and make them less aware of their surroundings.

Further readings:

Anesthesia: A look at local, regional and general anesthesia

Mayo Clinic Foundation, Last Updated: June 16, 2006.

http://orthopedics.about.com/od/paintreatment/a/anesthesia.htm

O.R.I.F. : OPEN REDUCTION INTERNAL FIXATION

WHAT IS THE TREATMENT OF A GALEAZZI FRACTURE?

A Galeazzi fracture is a variant of a radius fracture of the forearm. In addition to the fracture of the radius, these patients also have an injury of the distal radio-ulnar joint of the wrist.

Treatment of a Galeazzi fracture is with surgery to repair the radius fracture. Treatment of this injury in a cast, even if the bones are brought back into position, will usually result in redisplacement of the fracture. Therefore, this is a so-called 'fracture of necessity,' meaning it is necessary to surgically repair the radius.

Once the radius is surgically repaired and held in the proper position, distal radio-ulnar joint will be inspected to determine if it also needs surgical attention.

http://orthopedics.about.com/od/brokenbones/g/galeazzi.htm

Open Reduction Internal Fixation is a method of surgically repairing a fractured bone. Generally, this involves either the use of plates and screws or an intramedullary (IM) rod to stabilize the bone. If you are having a broken bone treated by ORIF, you will be taken to the operating room, given anesthesia so that you will not feel the surgery, and have your bones repaired by an orthopedic surgeon.

Also Known As: Open Reduction Internal Fixation, Operative Treatment, Open Treatment

http://orthopedics.about.com/cs/brokenbones/g/orif.htm

GALEAZZI FRACTURE

INFORMATION ABOUT FRACTURES OF THE FOREARM BONES

A forearm fracture occurs when there is a fracture of one or both of the bones of the forearm. The two bones of the forearm are the radius and the ulna. Both bones are important for proper motion of the elbow and wrist joints, and both bones serve as important attachments to muscles of the upper extremity.

HOW DO FOREARM FRACTURES OCCUR?

The most common types of fractures occur due to a fall onto the hand, or a direct blow to the forearm (commonly seen in altercations, sports injuries, and car accidents). Symptoms of a forearm fracture include pain, swelling, and deformity of the forearm. Diagnosis of a forearm fracture can be made with a proper physical examination and x-ray studies.

WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF FOREARM FRACTURES?

Fractures of the forearm bones that occur around the elbow (radial head fractures and olecranon fractures) and those that occur around the wrist (wrist fractures), are considered elsewhere.

RADIAL SHAFT FRACTURES

An isolated fracture of the radial shaft is an unusual injury. More commonly, fractures of the radial shaft are associated with injury to the ulna (see 'both bones forearm fracture' below) or injury to one of the joints around the wrist (Galeazzi fracture). When an isolated radial shaft fracture occurs, it commonly requires surgery.

When an isolated radial shaft fracture occurs, it commonly requires surgery unless the fracture is non-displaced. If the fracture is out of position, then forearm rotation could be limited unless the fracture is realigned. For this reason, most radial shaft fractures are treated with surgery to realign and hold the bones in proper position.

http://orthopedics.about.com/od/brokenbones/a/forearm.htm

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS

I received this hilarious yet important message some time ago from Betty and later, Katherine, and I'd like to have it published for the benefit of all you ladies:-

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt, said,
"You should get a Mammogram".
"OK," I said, "let's do it".
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts,"
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine", she said.
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike n grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one.
"Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!

MARI BERPANTUN

Sarang labah jatuh ke tanah,
Anjing menyalak digigit pacat;
Wahai peminat toksah marah,
Di bidang IT saya cukup cacat.

Sorong mahjong pusing mahjong,
Jangan menyentuh bahu orang;
Gagal mencari raket tenis satu Jurong,
Muka kawan hitam sehitam arang.

Bunyi mahjong memekak serumah,
Orang kalah ketiak pasti basah;
Uncle CK menjemput berirama,
Pantun beliau tiada, ini mana sah?

Ting! ting! ting! Pheck Woon bancuh milo,
Shar! shar! shar! Kin Wan goreng ikan;
Harga gula naik 20 sen sekilo,
Bilik stor CK penuh makanan!

Kalau tuan pergi ke North Carolina,
Jangan lupa melawat Tennessee;
Wahai Aunty Samm jangan terlena,
Hangus nasi, susu pula basi.

Satu dua tiga, one two three,
Anak bangun tak gosok gigi;
Insyallah esok kita berpoetry,
Mata aku tak dapat buka lagi!

THANK YOU

Many a time, I did contemplate,
Getting a new, vibrant Template;
But the codes they did intimidate,
A layman like me so out of date!
I was rescued by two young samaritans,
Who offered help without hesitation;
One, an Engineer, the other an IT student,
Geniuses for whom I have lots of admiration!
I tried, I did try, with much angst,
Wasted time and too, hunger pangs!
Bouquets via cyberspace to say "Thanks",
Next time we'll go for braised lamb shanks!
To achieve this on my own would be a feat,
I'm happy with this, it's so neat!
I know whom to turn to whenever I need,
I'll never forget your good deeds!
Thank you, Hwa and CJ,
You made my day!

VANGGE! VANGGE! SIGEREM VANGGA!

Hiya people here, people there, people everywhere
Come and read see what I have to share
Have you forgotten me or don't you care
Come and check out my gossip-ware
Drop me a comment if you dare
But war on me don't you declare
For the truth is what I blare
So just don't stare nor glare
If what you read don't go your way
Segerem Vangge! I say
Help revive my blog if you may
Roomba Nanderi, Terima Kasih!

NOW I'M TALKING

Greetings to all my Kakis from around the world!
Let's see..Betty, Samm, Jada, Jade and Ray,
Not forgetting Miao-Miao, all of whom are in the US of A,
Christine, in Brighton, UK,
Aaron, boarding in Sweden [returning soon for a short holiday],
To his grandparents, Lissie and Ragnar, in Gavle,
The Heinz family in Germany [but] currently on a short stint in PJ,
A lost and found buddy, Rachael, residing in Hong Kong near Causeway Bay,
Also to the Kuchingites, Melissa, Christopher, Thomas and Siew Mei,
To the Jurong-Gang-of-11 just across the causeway,
Namely, Pheck Woon, Benjamin, Nicholas, Cameron and CK,
Macey and Mike, Katherine and Eugene make up the Gang: 'don't play-play'
And staying somewhere near the Gang: Elissa, Louisa, Hwee Tin and Fot Chyi,
Cheras Taiko:KS and his brood:Edwin, Esther, Kevin, Denise, Brian and Evie,
Taiko's missus, Tar-Sao-Lily, who had just turned ***ty,
From Down Under, my half brother, Arthur, and his wife, Candy,
Their kids, Eric, Julian and Anthony,
My half sister, Joanne and Pete, her hubby,
Their brood, Ben, Sammie-Jo, Melanie and Natalie,
Also to Renee, cousin Helen and Rory,
And my God-sister, Doreen, kids: Gladys and Gary.
Evidently I have left out so many,
For I've run out of names that rhy-me!
All the sa-me,
Greetings from Elai-ne!
What a way-eee
To try do poetry!

TOTALLY EMBARRASSING!

Yo!

I am so embarrassed to admit this : I forgot about the existence of this blog and that I have actually blogged! Oh my gosh! I only thought that OK, I have arthritis, it's the norm for someone my age, but I just did not realize that senility is creeping in at this pace and man, oh man, it is scary! I just hope I can remember the way to the EPF building in a few years from now!
I will go on the double the following : 1. Gingko for memory enhancement 2. More Gingko for more memory enhancement

I'd like to record my gratitude to a new friend, CJ, for this "awakening"! Wish me luck, people!

HIBERNATING

Yup! I'm hibernating. Indefinite period.

THE STORK! THE STORK!

Congratulations! The Stork has finally arrived! 16th June, weighing 1.995kg! I heard Mummy and sonny are doing well, Macey Cheh-cheh excited and Pappy elated! He even got to snip the umbilical cord, how brave! We hope to see you soon, Kat and Mike and Macey too. This time don't offer any loan, ok! Take care, Kat! And Euge, have you put away the playstation?

IT'S OVER!!

Two weeks, gone just like that! It's over - the school holidays, and from now until the next semester holidays it'll be "have you done up your homework", or "will you start studying for your exams", or "have you started on your project" or "hurry up to bed", or in short, nagging resumes - so my kids think!

Aiyah, I'm sure I'm not the only nagging mother in town, ok!

THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, BETTY!

Howdy! Yup, the exams have ended, kids getting results when school reopens for the third semester and yes, the holidays (2 weeks) are here again! However, Kim's semester break isn't due until August, and the kids still have tuition classes, so no holidays for me. Sigh.

We will be going to Pg for a 3d2n stay so that's not too bad. I'm looking forward to a Sp trip, not to shop (thanks, Pheck Woon for the Sp Sale email), but I want to see Mike and his proud parents! Don't get me wrong, I love shopping there, but I hate myself for loving shopping and its consequence, for instance, I just dunno where to skimp in order to return the money borrowed from some kind moneylenders who successfully persuade me to borrow, not a hundred or two, but a thousand Sp dollars! And the funny thing is, the more I have in my pocket, the more I spend and the more they kindly offer you, interest free! Thanks, Kat and Euge!

Betty called to say she logs on to catch up on the latest gossips but gets disappointed when there is no new blog. Well, Betty, this one's for you! Happy holidays, folks!

LOST 2KG IN 4 DAYS

There is this Weight Loss program that Alfred is undergoing (started on Wed, 11th). He lost 2 kg in 4 days! Still going on strong, don't pray pray!

Basically he stays off carb the first week and maintains a high protein diet, takes peanuts and yoghurt as snacks. The second week he is allowed fruits and then back to very little carb. His progress is monitored via smses sent to him by the company that he purchased the WL program from.He was given a little book (similar to the size of the 555 note book those days when your grandmother gave it to the bread vendor to record all her purchases) that contains Menus - suddenly this book became an all important book; he takes it with him everywhere.

Remember I said I only got to sleep at 5am at Millie's? That fella called me up just before 8am: "Where is my Book?" and "I can't find my book". Bengang or not?

WHEN ARE YOU COMING?

As you all would have known by now, Millie and Ake went to Ch to look for schools for their kids. Left last Tues, 10th arriving tomorrow evening.

You don't know how many times that that that Ang Moh daughter of hers smsed me everyday, "Yee Ma, when are u coming?" Shortly after that, "What time are you coming?" Ten minutes later, "Hurry Up, Lah!"

You see, I promised them I'd go over when they came back from school, to get their dinner ready (although their mother told me I needn't do that, I'm sure she must have prayed that I did so). May Tho would then sleep over to keep an eye over them and to get them ready for school the next day (and of course see to the laundry etc).

So, I'd go over their place with Darren and Beverly after school and sometimes Kim, and then leave before 6pm. And that that that Ang Moh would go. "What? You're leaving so soon? But you just came!" or "Can we go to the playground while you pack?" And, like today, we ended up leaving at 9.30pm, no heart to leave them too early!

Brought them over to our place during the weekend and all of us (except for Kim and Alfred) slept over with them but not before having Roti Canai, Roti Pisang, Roti Sardine, Roti Tissue and Teh Tarik till 1am at the Puchong Mamak stall! You don't know how I suffered at their place. Their room was SOOOO cold (them kids kept saying, "It's not cold at all!"), that my nose was completely blocked, no matter which way I turned my head. Finally dozed off at a little past 5am and slept till 12 noon the next day (Ang Moh and Beverly were still snoring!).

I'm planning to buy a piece of land in the Alps. Let them sleep in the open.

EXAM FEVER

It's that time of the year again...mid year exams around the corner! This means no TV (will call up service provider to disconnect cable tv temporarily), no comics (only when tah-peaning), no gameboy...only football and cycling in the field is allowed. I just hate this time of the year!

PS I will menjelma after the exams!